Finding your audience, voice, and income are the three most wicked problems for every DIY scholar and you've nailed the main reasons here. Really good stuff. Nobody will be able to read this and then continue watching all the theory content they do the same way, which is exactly what good theory will cause: a shift in perspective that changes everything. But you go a step beyond that by bringing the question of politico-economic conditions of possibility into view, which is one of the most erased aspects of theory writing. Money is almost as taboo as politics in certain spaces, and on the Left the general assumption is that it's bad and that everyone should do everything for free. But considering the fact that the left is largely made up of the PMC side of the middle class, that's awfullly convenient for them—the checks come from salaried positions paid by tuition, endowments, grants, taxes, etc. In theory that should mean they don't need to worry about the profit motive (at least on the professional side—not so much the case for managers of course). Yet even when they are able to live indifferent to the actual interests of economic capital, there is symbolic capital that they get by maintaining either aloofness or disdain towards all economic concerns. Expressions of such attitudes are a sign of status, lorded over others. This is usually not done consciously but is instead simply part of the habitus of the given fields that constitute the possible positions one can take, roles that can be fulfilled, or functions one can serve. So your feeling-torn about owning up to the economic interest is, ultimately, partially due to intellectual integrity confronting the fact that there's a lot of disavowal of these issues inherent to the fields we want to inhabit. I think you'd really dig the lectures I've done recently on Bourdieu, because most of what I'm saying here is why I appreciate and have been going hard into his work!
I chose to forego further education when I graduated college, leaving behind my dream of becoming a professor, and started working in software startups instead. Today I'm in a cushy fake email job which provides a good salary and great benefits while my wife and I have children, but I can feel it killing a part of my soul. That's why I write on the internet, sharing my thoughts and research, while also experimenting with how to build an independent intellectual practice. A critique of the social position and the symbolic world of the PMC is more vital than ever today. I find myself trying to work out those ideas while remaining in it to get what I can before it's time to strike out on my own. I've never worked for a profitable company in my entire career, which means that my salary has always been paid by investor money, and I plan to keep milking it during this crucial time when our family is starting out. That's the best decision I feel I can make right now while I plot my escape.
Super-helpful post!
Thanks for your feedback! I hope it helps you on your journey.
Finding your audience, voice, and income are the three most wicked problems for every DIY scholar and you've nailed the main reasons here. Really good stuff. Nobody will be able to read this and then continue watching all the theory content they do the same way, which is exactly what good theory will cause: a shift in perspective that changes everything. But you go a step beyond that by bringing the question of politico-economic conditions of possibility into view, which is one of the most erased aspects of theory writing. Money is almost as taboo as politics in certain spaces, and on the Left the general assumption is that it's bad and that everyone should do everything for free. But considering the fact that the left is largely made up of the PMC side of the middle class, that's awfullly convenient for them—the checks come from salaried positions paid by tuition, endowments, grants, taxes, etc. In theory that should mean they don't need to worry about the profit motive (at least on the professional side—not so much the case for managers of course). Yet even when they are able to live indifferent to the actual interests of economic capital, there is symbolic capital that they get by maintaining either aloofness or disdain towards all economic concerns. Expressions of such attitudes are a sign of status, lorded over others. This is usually not done consciously but is instead simply part of the habitus of the given fields that constitute the possible positions one can take, roles that can be fulfilled, or functions one can serve. So your feeling-torn about owning up to the economic interest is, ultimately, partially due to intellectual integrity confronting the fact that there's a lot of disavowal of these issues inherent to the fields we want to inhabit. I think you'd really dig the lectures I've done recently on Bourdieu, because most of what I'm saying here is why I appreciate and have been going hard into his work!
I chose to forego further education when I graduated college, leaving behind my dream of becoming a professor, and started working in software startups instead. Today I'm in a cushy fake email job which provides a good salary and great benefits while my wife and I have children, but I can feel it killing a part of my soul. That's why I write on the internet, sharing my thoughts and research, while also experimenting with how to build an independent intellectual practice. A critique of the social position and the symbolic world of the PMC is more vital than ever today. I find myself trying to work out those ideas while remaining in it to get what I can before it's time to strike out on my own. I've never worked for a profitable company in my entire career, which means that my salary has always been paid by investor money, and I plan to keep milking it during this crucial time when our family is starting out. That's the best decision I feel I can make right now while I plot my escape.
"renegade PMC" is the term I coined for that.
💯 that's what one's gotta do!!!